I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
