Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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