okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
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