I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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