I got chris browned last night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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