Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude i'm inner monologue high
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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