so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
