You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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