doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
