Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
