In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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