she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
