It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
