So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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