due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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