you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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