totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
