if i can run in heels then i can drive
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
