He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize