Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
