I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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