3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
