Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
