been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize