My nipple is on Facebook.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
