She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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