So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
