Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
