You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
