Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
