he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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