everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
