please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
