i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
