hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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