Ambien. No doubt about it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
