i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize