So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
