dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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