I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
