I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i dont even know how to be here
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
