I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
