Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
