Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
