Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
