Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
