Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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