I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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