Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
