the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I will pee on everything he values.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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