sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
