Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
