Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
