Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She told me I should be a condom model.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize