Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
