I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
