why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
