I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
