i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
