Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
