so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
