What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
