OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize