How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
