This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize