I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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