i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
