i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
