Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
