i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
