When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
