Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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