Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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