eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
