Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
