watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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